{ you're my hero.

[jensen hayes-kite.]

YOU SMILE THE WORDS THEY TELL ME DISAPPEAR
you speak and there is no other voice that i can hear

“could you repeat that?” jensen roxanne hayes-kite sat blinking in disbelief at the man who sat across from her. he had a congratulatory smile spread over his face, as though she had won some crazy sort of lottery. of course, her expression seemed to give him the impression that her prize was somewhat of an unwelcome one; not that it particularly was, his news had just come as quite a surprise and she was still getting her head around it. “there are things that can be done if you’d like mrs kite?” he’d been talking for a short while or so she thought, though she had only paid enough attention to catch the last of his speech. mrs kite; now that was something that had taken her far longer than it should have to get used to, as though her marriage to the amazing jude kite had been some sort of happy dream she’d dare to image. but it was real, it was her life and oh god, jude! “no. no. it’ll be fine.” she said in a shaky voice, followed with what she could muster as a resemblance of a smile. he shot her a concerned look but kindly opened the door as she stood to leave whilst offering any assistance should she ever need it, if she knew what he meant.

although she was quite competent at driving for the most part or could easily utilize the option of hailing a cob, jensen seemed to have quite a habit of walking everywhere. one could assume that it had been due to her time in new york, where she’d despised having to wait in the heavy traffic as it caused her to be ever so frantic. it weren’t as though she needed to be any later than she often already was. but then, walking became such a pleasant experience. jensen would always find some of the most interesting of things along her walks and, although it wasn’t too good a habit to feed, she was constantly finding something new and ever so interesting to purchase on a whim. she did suppose it was handy that the apartment of which she now called home was central to all areas of which she could venture within the city of seattle. it always meant that she could afford to walk rather than seek other means of transport. still, on this very day, the twenty minutes it would have taken anyone else to walk to the apartment she shared with jude, took much longer as she meandered her way through the streets. she was forever getting distracted by something sweet or cute or just absolutely gorgeous. though, this time it was merely because her mind was off somewhere else and as she looked into various shop windows other ideas swam through her mind as to what her future purchases would be of.

it was at the moment, whilst she was staring off at a nearby playground, that yet another topic caught her attention and left the days discovery in the background of her mind. the sweetest little puppy was being dragged away by some horrid looking man who clearly needed a few lessons in hygiene. eyes darting down the road to check that it was safe to cross, jensen rushed up to the man and absolutely insisted he release the poor thing. of course he looked rather short of laughing in her face over it and ever swept her aside with a quick “listen lady, this pup ain’t gots no home, council says he’s gotta go to the pound. just doin’ ma job.” however, there was no way jensen would let the frightened creature be forced into a cage and left at the mercy of the man and the dear city pound. it was just a baby! plus, one look into the animal’s eyes and she saw ben. dear, loving ben who they’d had to leave with a darling, loving family back in new york. jensen had so wished they could take him with them but there was just no way... not to mention, things just hadn’t been going all to well with jude and she just didn’t have the ability to care for another being by herself. she had such a distractible, forgetful mind that’s jude’s sensible one always seemed to counter all too perfectly. anyhow, she could have sworn the little thing could have been ben’s baby if she hadn’t known better.

regardless of it all, the outcome of the event remained inevitable or so jensen led herself to believe. she also continued to tell herself that it had been a good idea, that she had done a very kind deed for the puppy and that it had been a miracle she had been able to stand her ground when that man had the stench of smoke and various other habits of bodily negligence around him. surely jude wouldn’t have too much of a problem with her new little bundle of joy. and having another member of the family around would surely be more than just a simple pleasure. plus, back in new york, ben had totally helped her out with the whole impulse shopping habit. she couldn’t ever take him into the shops and well, she just couldn’t bare to leave him out on the street. honestly, she spoilt that little dog ever so much. once she had arrived at her building, she quickly slipped up the stairs and ever so quietly allowed herself into the apartment. hanging her keys up before she allowed herself the opportunity of forgetting where she put them, jensen settled her bag on the floor before calling out for her dearly beloved husband. ”jude? honey? you in? i’ve got a great surprise!” the excitement in her voice couldn’t possibly be hidden as she anticipated hid reaction to her news.

status:

[/color] complete.
tagged:[/color] jude gregory kite.
location:[/color] jude and jensen’s apartment.
outfit:[/color] for us there is no end in sight.
lyrics:[/color] thinking about you by britney spears.
notes:[/color] aw, i’ve missed these two!
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[jude kite.]

-------He could feel the weight of the pack in his drawer. They were there because he hadn't the time to throw them out. This was the type of excuse he used every time Jensen had inquired about them being stashed quite innocently in his work desk's top drawer. Well – as innocent as a pack of cigarettes could be. At that moment he wished that he was somehow back in that loft with his “friends”. That way, he could tell them all to stop bumming around and make something of themselves. This included himself. He, however, had successfully risen from the dead and began a new life by. This brought him to where he was today, which was in his home office, studying some pictures his supervisor had given him to identify. He was also married to the most beautiful girl he had ever met in his life. That was also a bit of a tip off that his life had turned around. Needless to say, Jude was rather particular when it came to getting stress under control. Right now, things looked grim concerning the subject. These paintings were smudged, and impossible to tell from artist to artist. It could be any one of the researched artists he had scribbled down on a random post-it. Any one of them could have produced this painting now on display at the local museum. Jude, however, was scheduled to transfer sometime within the next month to an Auction house, where he would get a better pay, a bigger office, and work as a specialist. It was requested by his own supervisor that this happened, and for this Jude was quite complacent. After all, he had been wanting that particular job for some time now. It was an honor to be working at such a reputable auction house, and as one of their top specialists. He had impressed the manager there with his mass of knowledge on everything that was thrown at him. Especially the paintings.

-------Tonight, however, seemed to be one of those times he wished he could open that pack up. It hadn't really been ages since he had one, but it had been a few weeks. It was a pain in the arse, he would admit, but when he set his mind to something, it happened. His happiness often clouded this streak of success, however, as his determination was faltering with every elated wave that overcame him. It was odd, the type of thing that was happening. He had been extremely happy, and now stress was overcoming a piece of him that yearned to take a breath of that smoke. He wondered how many years of his life he had already taken just smoking for a little over six months. Just one wouldn't hurt Jude thought darkly, opening the desk drawer absentmindedly. His phone rang, jolting him out of the trance he had let himself slip into. Bugger off thought Jude, thinking of the other him that almost allowed him to discontinue his cold turkey regiment. Hey Jude, don't be afraid. Take a sad son-- his iPhone was cut short when he pressed the 'on' button. “Hello?” a voice he found far too familiar to even question who it may be came across. “Jude, thank God. It's an emergency,” this immediately raised a red flag, and he sat upright in his chair, having found that he was slouching the whole while in a desperate attempt to gain comfort. “Brett? What's wrong?” she didn't sound too distressed. Just earlier, he had read about a seventeen year old being captured outside of a Los Angeles University. Ever since, he had been wary about Brett, sending her texts to 'Be careful!' and 'Don't go out by yourself'. He was almost positive that she hadn't listened to him, but it was worth the effort, nonetheless. If he lost Brett, he would lose himself.

-------Jude, I can't decide on mauve pink or turquoise blue for my sleepover!” she said into the phone. He breathed a sigh of immense relief, and then grew irritable. This was a surprise. Normally, he would've shook his head and laughed, but he was in poor condition as it was. Truthfully, Jude looked as if he hadn't slept in about two days. His hair was tousled from the many times he ran his hand through it, and his clothes were wrinkled from lack of ironing. Jensen was hopeless when it came to anything household related. She was forever thinking about things that simply didn't matter, but he Jude wouldn't have it any other way. “Brett, I'm busy,” said Jude in a rather flat tone. “But Ju--” she began. “Bye, Brett,” he hung up the phone, blinking a few times afterwards. What was going on? His mood had been a rollercoaster lately, sinking far below comfort many times in the past week. Then it hit him – this damn cigarettes. This new aggravation had only begun two weeks ago, when he had stopped smoking. Jude sighed and texted Brett, who he knew would be less than understanding. 'Sorry, Bretty. Cigs have me barmy.' Send. Sent. Done. Jude felt a slight wave of confidence at this accomplishment, as he had not accomplished much in the past hour or so. He stared at the pictures of the paintings in front of him, once again growing peevishly tired. Maybe one wouldn't hurt after all. This headache would go away, and so would the nausea he had been enduring for the past two weeks. Just one and then he could go back to his regular and religious cohering of endurance. He reached for the pack, and just as he was going to grasp it, another familiar voice came floating from the living room. For the first time, Jude payed mind to their two-year-old German Shepard, Ben, who lifted his head off of his already-massive paws and perked his ears to the door. He glanced at Jude with his soft, excitable eyes and Jude's smile was enough to make Ben go running out the door. Jude closed the drawer with a swiftness that caused the desk to shiver.

-------A second later, Jude heard Ben barking. This was unusual, considering Ben hardly barked at anything these days. Maybe something was wrong. Jude thought this to himself as he neared the living room from the hallway, but soon found that his worst fears were soothed. He did, however, find that irritation gnawing at his mind once more as Jensen stood there with a dog. A rather dirty, ragged looking dog at that. It was small and brown, and had wirey hair that seemed to be matted in some places. It was also shaking and staring ahead with frightened eyes. Jensen caressed it like a baby. Jude approached her and gave her a quick kiss, holding her shoulders for a moment and looking at the dog in her arms. “Jen...” Jude began, trying to measure how irritable his next phrase might be, and if he could reign it in. What should he say to her? What should he do? What if she got upset? Jude may have been having his ups and downs with emotion lately, but Jensen's had spiked out of control lately. Sometimes she'd scream at him for leaving a thin ring on the glass coffee table, or cry over how the weather was bad. This was all confusing, considering the weather was almost always bad in Seattle. Jude thought it may be “that time of month” but she hadn't bought any Tampons in the past month or so... He stepped back from her and sighed. “Another dog, then? Some sort of warning would've been nice, love,” he said this in a kind tone, happy with the way he was handling his irritation, which was dying down quickly. He just couldn't be mad at her. She was beautiful. She was the light to every dark in his world. She was everything to him. He offered her a smile, reaching down to pat Ben, who was now staring at the small dog intently. Ben was a friendly dog, even if he did grow wary and protective at times. “How was your day?”

---

word count, 1,376.
listening to, awake - secondhand serenade.
status is, finished.
wearing, click.
comments, behold, their future baby.. or maybe this one. but definitely this one. also,
i think this should be their doggy. miniature schnouzer. oh, and the one with the baby on it is ben. c:

[jensen hayes-kite.]

YOU SMILE THE WORDS THEY TELL ME DISAPPEAR
you speak and there is no other voice that i can hear

she managed to catch the way he took in the scene, could see that he needed to think before he did anything. she knew him well enough to pick up on those little things, by now she would hope she knew him well enough to pick up on such things. if she didn’t and someone needed to point it out to her she’d just feel absolutely terrible. the whole ‘getting more than you deserve’ feeling would creep its way in and jensen would just climb into the first hole she could find to hide in - she’d stay there too; she’d stay there for the rest of her life if jude would let her. but surely jude would come after her. in fact, he would probably climb into the cramped hole and somehow get her to come out by showing her just how silly it all was to begin with, or something like that. still, all that needn’t matter. she adored the man before her too much not to pay him the attention he so deserved. receiving his kiss she did her very best to calm herself a little but the words just came flying out. the girl was far too scared of losing him again she was on the border of neurotic and whatever was beyond it. ”i’m so sorry jude. i just couldn’t leave the poor thing! you should have seen the man who tried to take it! he was so horrible to the poor thing. just look at it, all shaken up like this. i couldn’t stand the thought of being stuck in a cage surrounded by horrible people... just imagine what kinds of things they’d do to it! the poor sweet thing.”

[/b] it was amazing how unimaginative she could be with her words at times, continuously using that same ones over and over again; if not said out loud, than in her mind. but gosh, she had saved the poor thing from that horrible man. she really had.

if she could, jensen wondered if she would jump out the window at that very moment. she felt nervous and jittery enough to. though it seemed a case of stage fright or ‘doe stuck in the headlights’ had her fixed to the one position. there was just the one way to get herself out of it she found. her mouth just couldn’t stop working, it kept going on its own accord. as though more words would fix a situation that hadn’t even escalated all that much; in fact, it was probably a case that didn’t need fixing at all. jensen was probably just being her own panicky self. the girl would probably spontaneously combust with nervous energy if you told her the apocalypse was going to come and destroy the world because someone dropped their keys. ”it just needs a little love, and company. imagine being so little and being left out on the streets. who could leave such a sweet puppy out on the streets! the poor thing! people can be so very heartless.” she did wish it would stop shaking, it was almost as nervous as she was and it just wasn’t helping. jensen couldn’t help but notice that jude’s presence had made the shaking ever so slightly worse. poor thing didn’t like men. poor thing probably thought jude would hurt it like all the other men it had been so very unfortunate to encounter. jude wouldn’t hurt a fly, jensen couldn’t believe he ever would. she was sure the puppy would see that soon. plus, ben would take it under his wing. ben was such a sweet dog like that, raised with love and care. the puppy would see that soon. this was a loving home. perfect for little babies.

babies. oh babies! jude didn’t know! well, he didn’t officially know. she thought about that other night, when jude had told her on the couch how brett had been on instant messenger and how she had asked if jen had been pregnant. how they had laughed the situation off then. how jensen had questioned herself ever so at the idea. that was all it ever took for dear jen, one little seed of doubt and she’d go running after wild geese. of course, this time the geese hadn’t been so wild. but jude had to know. she just had to tell him... now. she had to tell him now. “i... i was on my way back from the doctors when i found this ba-little... puppy.” god she had stood up to that disgusting man earlier and now she was struggling around the right words. it wasn’t like she had anything to fear. ”remember the other night? how you spoke to brett... how we laughed and had such a wonderful time. how sweet that night was... remember how she thought i was pr-how silly brett had been?” for pete’s sake jensen! spit it out then. there was no harm in this little small piece of news. it was like bringing a little puppy home off the street. how could bringing yet another animal home be easier than bringing this news? this news should be easier, it wasn’t just something off the street, it was part of her, part of jude, he’d love it. surely he would. jude would be a wonderful father, she knew it with everything within her. in fact, he’d probably be a better parent than she could ever hope to be. “jude. honey. i’m... we’re...”[/color] sometimes she could slap herself. finding it hard to rip her gaze away from jude, she let her mind get a little sidetracked. oh god, she loved him. the patience he had for her. the way he just watched her with that softness that melted her heart every time. no, she had nothing to be afraid of. jude would know what to do. “we’re having a baby.” finally. just like that. it was all out. out there in the open and there was nothing she could do to change it. oh god, she hope he'd heard her. hoped he wouldn't make her say it again. it had been hard enough the first time. hopefully he'd just have an answer for her. some way to tell her that everything would be alright, tell her that it would be all alright and tell her it fast. while she waited she had to distract herself, very rarely did she ever had trouble getting distracted. thankfully, almost nervously, she fiddled with the fine hair of the puppy in her arms.

“we’ll need a name for this one too.” she said in a softer, distant voice. her gaze fixated on the way its paw fit into her hand, the way it still shook in her embrace. the poor thing. and then she came to a slight moment of inspiration. it was just an idea too wonderful to let alone. “let’s call him... ben... the second! it’ll just be fabulous!” perhaps she was getting a little too excited, a little too overwhelmed. perhaps, trying to avoid the topic a little too much. she was still nervous. she was still afraid of what jude would think. she found that perhaps it was a little too early for them. that, perhaps, this whole situation could have been better timed. she still had a little more of her senior year to go. oh dear lord! she wasn’t ready! there was no way she was ready for something like this! it was horrible. a terrible idea. a terrible state to be in. there really couldn’t be much worse. she had a ... a parasite growing inside her! it would feed off her, it would grow in her and would exhaust her. and when it had finished doing that, well... it would be something she would have to care for, something that she would have to attend to until it was old enough to leave. if anything, she wouldn’t know how to manage! how did one look after another being?! it would grow older, it would have issues; problems that she, as a mother, would have to care for. jensen’s mother hadn’t even been all too good a role-model. and... OH GOD! jensen had been a terrible child. a monster of an adolescent. jen would have to deal with this thing going through adolescence. jen would have to deal with this thing going through adolescence as its mother.

her helpless gaze flew to jude. how it begged and pleaded with him. he needed to help her find a way out! she could almost swear she had not needed him more than she did right then at that very moment! she was quite positive that the weather hadn’t ever been as bad in seattle as it had been that very day! no wonder that man had been so very horrid, it was the weather, the way things were. the grey surely must be affecting people’s moods. how could anyone possibly survive and make a lifestyle out of this city!

and of course, then it all came over her. jude was too far away. so very far away. what in the world’s name was he doing over there! how dare he just stand there! how dare he not come over and hold her! without a thought she dropped the innocent shaken puppy and quite possibly leapt at jude. burying herself into his chest, hiding herself away for just that moment. the tears that had threatened to spill, ran, soaked into his shirt and dried themselves away. but the world couldn’t get to her there. the external realities of life couldn’t catch her and drag her into its negative pits of ‘this is your life’. it was safe with jude; always had been, always would be. this was her sanctuary and, try as they might, no one could destroy it.

status:[/color] complete.
tagged:[/color] jude gregory kite.
location:[/color] jude and jensen’s apartment.
outfit:[/color] for us there is no end in sight.
lyrics:[/color] thinking about you by britney spears.
notes:[/color] eventually finished at midnight, not sure how the over-all quality is going to be. xD and... as for the baby pictures, omg! it's amazing, with ben and everything! lol. still can't believe i actually went ahead with calling the dog ben. xD
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