-------- light in the dark .

[ivan joyce.]

_______________________________________________________________

-------It had been six days since the arrival of miss sophie jayne pearson. a long one hundred and forty-four hours it had been as well. as much as ivan would have loved to stay in the company of his best friend he, unfortunately, had to leave her side at some point. the morning after he gave sophie the grand tour of his oh-so-glamorous two bedroom apartment, ivan had fallen back into his daily routine that held a lengthy amount of classes then four hours running around the hospital in scrubs. even though the boy found himself missing sophie -- quite a lot actually -- he coudlnt' help but feel grateful for being away from the house. sophie parading around the house in his fannel shirt made it extremely difficult to stay focused on the mounds of homework piled on top of their coffee table. he was never going to get past his summer classes with her flashing that little girl smile and twirl her blonde curls around her tiny finger. the hospital had been the only thing that had kept him busy enough to keep sophie off of his mind. well, that wasn't entirely true. whenever ivan even stepped into the office of the hospital's oncologist thought of his best friend popped inside his head. within the walls of nyu's medical center were all the memories ivan bothered to recall about his childhood. that was where it had all began, this thing with sophie and ivan. i suppose i don't really have to get into detail. anyone has ever talked to either of them is sure to know the story. it consists of many late night conversations, hand puppet shows, wheelchair races, crying, and comforting when neccessary. they were the only people the pair of them had. then it had vanished just like that. one day sophie had been within a twenty mile radius and the next she was clear across the atlantic ocean. good-bye, sophie pearson. good-bye, ivan joyce. he had really tried to gain his composure back. a year had flown by in ivan's frantic search to recover all of the missing pieces to his puzzle with no luck and... we all know what happened after that. well, everyone besides sophie does at least.

------- "Ivan!" a firm voice was what ripped ivan away from his thoughts and made him jump up in his office chair, sending him six feet into the air. the boy's pale blue eyes blinked frantically while he waited for his heart rate to slow down and his breathing to return to it's normal pace. hadn't he told everyone not to sneak up on him like that when he first got here? ivan slowly rotated in his swevil chair to look at the man in a pair of plum scrubs towering over him. "it's time to head out. you've been staring at that computer screen for the last twenty minutes. kristen was starting to get really creeped out." doctor marcus harvey was one of the best oncologists working in the seattle area and seattle's children hospital was sure lucky to have him. over the last few months ivan had seen that man take more pride in his job then the people he had come across in his entire job. he truly did love what he did and for that ivan idolized him. "sorry," ivan said and his hands quickly started filing away the minala folders sprawled out on his tiny wooden desk. "i didn't know it was already that late." since he was only an intern without his bachelor's degree ivan could only work limited hours, but they were always late at night and usually that gave him the opportunity to visit with all the kids in the ward before they were put to bed. marcus' eyes were following the back of ivan's head as he whipped it back and forth to double check everything was set for his shift tomorrow and his husky voice broke the silence once again. "you seem to be a little... off track lately." why did he have to observe so much? there was no point in avoiding the question either. mister harvey would just keep asking until he got his answer. "since when did you become a psychologist?" a light chuckle followed the words while ivan rose from his chair and finally stood face to face with marcus. one of those amused smile spread across the doctor's face and his shoulders shrugged. "i'm just sayin'." that was all he said before he patted ivan's shoulder, told him to have a good night, and then strutted out his sight.

-------So what if he seemed a little distracted? had it occurred to him that maybe school was just stressing him out a little bit? that was probably the most unlikely reason out there but it still could be used as a reliable excuse, right? not everything that was bothering him had to revolve around his new roommate. sophie wasn't the only thing on his mind. ivan nodded his head while those thoughts ran in and out of his head, driving down the street to the grocery store only a few blocks away from his apartment. of course it had only taken a good three days for all of the pints of ice cream ivan had brought as a house warming present for sophie to 'mysteriously' disappear from the freezer. and when ivan had gone to interrogate he got a childish grin and a giggle that put a smile on his lips. he was only going to get four this time. one for himself... three for sophie. sophie. sophie. sophie. who are you trying to fool here? an annoying voice piped up from somewhere in the depths of ivan joyce's head. by this time ivan had already pulled into a slot outside the store and put the gear into park. there was no time to argue with himself now. he had to be in and out or else the chance to watch that cheesey horror movie with sophie was out the window. there it was again. "damnit!" the boy rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath as he quickly climbed out of his honda civic, slamming the door behind him. the cool night air blew against his cheeks as he advanced to the automatic doors of the albertson's; dodging cars as he did so. luckily it wasn't very troublesome to find the frozen foods aisle and pull out three cartons of cookie dough ben and jerry's ice cream along with one mint chocolate chunk. a big hug is definitely going down once ivan walks through that front door. in his hands was at least... sixteen dollars of deliciousness he was paying for. consider him a sexgod of some sorts. a bearer of all things good in this world. what a saint ivan joyce was.

-------Operation cookie monster had been completed within five minutes thanks to the cashier at registar number five. yvette had been quite persistent, however, for a forty-eight year old woman. ivan had found it tough to get past the glob of heavy blue eye make-up and red blush plastered onto the ladies face that he had finally decided to look down at the floor while she rang up his items, using pick up line after pick up line in hopes to grab his attention. he had said a very polite good-bye before shuffling out the door though. being a jerk would have only brought him bad karma and if sophie had been there she would have hit him if she hadn't been laughing herself. the streets winded down south and finally came to a four way stop where ivan turned left into his gated apartment complex. the steel gates of the places swung wide open at the press of ivan's handy dandy control pad on his visor and the civic drove down the aisle before making a right into slot fifty-seven. on the second story of the building was home sweet home and inside was hopefully a fully closed sophie pearson. ivan's fingers pulled the key of the car's ignition and shoved the keys into the shirt pocket of his scrubs while his other grabbed the albertson's plastic bag sitting on the passenger seat. tonight was ivan's chance to sit back and relax. tomorrow morning there were no classes and the hospital wouldn't need him to work until tuesday. it would just be him and sophie. now why did that thought scare him? up the stairs he went and after fiddling with the keys for a while -- that door just never wanted to open -- ivan felt the air from the a/c make the hair on the back of his neck stick straight up. "guess who's home!" ivan's voice echoed against the plain walls of the apartment. the pints of ice cream in the bag clicked together while ivan moved himself into kitchen and sat them down on the counter. a sigh slipped out of the boy's mouth as his eyes searched for something to clean up or straighten out before sophie strode into the room and sprawled out on the dining room table was ivan's blue baseball t-shirt. "hmm," ivan's eyebrow rose and his feet inched him toward the wooden table. "don't remember leaving this here." the boy looked down at his scrubs and then at the t-shirt before shrugging his shoulder. his hands grabbed the bottom of his top and pulled it over his head before hanging it over the the dining room chair. he still had a few seconds before sophie rushed into the room...

_______________________________

TAGGED, sophie jayne pearson
STATUS, done
WORDS, 1601. boo.
NOTES, yay for ivan & sophie!!
CREDIT, me for banner and.... i don't know for template
LISTENING TO, i will remember you - ryan cabrera

[sophie pearson.]

___________________________________

---- many doubts and worries had been present in sophie pearson's mind two months earlier, all of which seemed rather stupid now. however some seemed a little more reasonable than she'd anticipated. living with ivan joyce was exactly how the blonde hoped it would be. it was definitely different to how she was used to living, yet it was a whole lot better. routine and rules, that's what it had been like under the control of tristin pearson. here there weren't any of those two things, you'd basically do what you wanted, when you wanted. of course ivan had told her never to go out alone at night and hammered a million other instructions into her mind which only made her realize how much he really cared for her. three years after not seeing ivan had been torture. after her abrupt departure from new york city that rainy day, it was like sophie had lost her best friend, despite the fact he was just living in another country. conversations over the internet had been nowhere near enough. sophie had originally thought that if she was living with ivan twenty-four seven, it would be almost impossible to miss him. oh how wrong she'd been. even when she was sitting in her classes at university, the eighteen year old found herself missing ivan joyce. honestly, it was stupid. they saw each other every night and every morning, plus practically spent all day together on weekends. so there was really no reason why being away from the twenty-one year old for a few mere hours a day should torture sophie so much. if she knew what was good for her, being away from ivan would be a good thing. when she'd left new york he'd been a somewhat out of proportion and awkward eighteen year old. how someone could change so much in just three years amazed sophie; then again, she had changed just as much, if not even more. of course the last time she'd seen ivan, boys hadn't exactly been the top of sophie's list of priorities. whether they'd looked twice at her or not hadn't worried her. ivan had just been her best friend, that was all. it didn't seem fair that he had become incredibly good looking over the years and was just...different. not that it was a bad thing of course, getting away from his abusive alcoholic mother seemed to have a good effect. but things were different between them. typically they were still sophie and ivan who would joke around with each other and watch cheesy horror movies. but there was just something unusual, awkward at times almost? there would be times when the pair would be laughing hysterically and then all would go silent once their eyes suddenly locked. it took all her strength to look away from ivan joyce and sophie would feel the need to immediately look down. at first it had been a mystery why, but it was completely apparent to the blonde now.

---- how cliché of sophie pearson to fall in love with her best friend, especially one who didn't love her back. knowing her luck, the only way ivan loved her was like a little sister. typical, she was doomed for an extremely uncomfortable four years. at least tristin would be happy, he didn't have to worry about anything happening that he didn't approve of (which was pretty much anything disney channel wouldn't show). it hadn't taken her long to realize the reason behind her just thinking "wow" every time ivan walked into the room. one thing that had in a way, finalized, her feelings for ivan happened every time ivan was able to drop her off or pick her up from school. the few friends she'd made would sigh and helplessly flirt with the twenty-one year old. now sophie wasn't the jealous type, she refrained from thinking any negative thoughts about people. but seeing those girls swoon over ivan and flirt with him in front of sophie, seriously made her want to raid tristin's blackberry and find the closest hit man. call it a little dramatic, but those girls made sophie want to throw a little three year old tantrum screaming "he's mine, he's mine!". of course she'd smile politely, give ivan a hug and walk off quickly towards her next class. it didn't seem fair that these girls could just walk on up and start playing with ivan's hair and flirt with him when they'd only just met them and hadn't even had a decent conversation with him. sophie however, had known ivan for six years and she couldn't do any of those things. all she could do was stand back and watch, feeling as though her heart was being ripped into millions of pieces. when she thought about it, there was absolutely no reason as to why ivan would want to be anything other than just best friends with sophie. that was probably the one thing that the girl was sure about, although there was still that silent hope which prayed for the fact something might happen between the pair. although it was unlikely, it was still better than living in reality. pushing problems away was a lot more easier than facing them and trying to solve them. anyway, being "just friends" with ivan and ignoring all those feelings was better than having those same feelings rejected and make everything awkward. and believe me, it wasn't hard to make things awkward with ivan. it had been somewhat of a shock when ivan had walked out on the first morning of sophie's arrival, not just to ivan but to both of them. the blonde had choked slightly on her coffee and ivan looked down at his bare chest, rushing out of the room and returning a few moments later wearing a t-shirt and supporting a rather red face. torture for sophie and embarrassment for ivan, it had taken her a lot of thinking to find a way to do the same thing to ivan and perhaps get an idea about how he felt for her.

---- it hadn't been until sophie had been doing the washing and found a flannel shirt of ivan's that she'd gotten ideas. when she'd skipped out into the living room and sat down on the couch next to ivan, sophie hadn't missed the slightly stunned look of the boys face and lingering eyes. never had the blonde understood why on earth some girls found it so incredibly entertaining to tease men, but now she did. it was amusing and entertaining, so why not do it. and in a way, it proved that ivan didn't think of her like a little sister. if he did, he'd probably pull a tristin and tell her to put some clothes on. so that little experiment had deemed successful on sophie's part, plus those flannel shirts were comfortable. all these thoughts ran through her head as she stood in the rather empty starbucks, running the cleaning cloth over a table. "sophie!" a voice rang out, making the blonde trip clumsily over an untucked chair and drop the spray bottle of disinfectant onto the floor. "all i wanted was a wipe over, not for you to polish it so i can see my face in it," brooklyn, a perky supervisor giggled, picking up the disinfectant off the floor and pushing the chair underneath the table. "right. i totally knew that..." the blonde said, running her fingers through her hair. "sure you did. there's no sexgod waiting in the car for you tonight so i'm assuming you have a bus to catch?" the brunette asked subtly, looking out onto the dark street in interest. "and don't you have a date with will tonight?" sophie asked with a small smile, waving at the tall man who just walked through the doors. "bye sophie," tiny brooklyn said with the giggle, skipping out of the shop, hand in hand with her boyfriend. the blonde walked behind the counter and started making herself a coffee, staring out the glass walls of the coffee shop. rain was pouring heavily down on the street and it was no doubt freezing cold. she took a sip from the large (and free) coffee and strolled into the staff locker room. in a daze, sophie took off the apron and shoved it into her locker, taking out her handbag and umbrella as she did so. sure enough, a gust of cold wind mixed with rain hit her the second she stepped outside. thank god the bus stop wasn't too far away. ivan had insisted many times before that she take the car and he'd just catch the bus, but that didn't seem ideal considering that he always got home from work later than she did. it wasn't long until sophie was sitting on the bus with her ipod plugged in, drawing various shapes on the fogged up glass. within twenty minutes the blonde was walking through the front door of their apartment and being greeted by an extremely excited dougie as she locked the front door behind her.

---- there was still quite a while until ivan was due to arrive home from the hospital. she'd gone to visit him once or twice but tried to avoid going there as much as possible. it was something she both loved and hated. ivan worked in the same ward where there were children with cancer, kids just like sophie had been not so many years ago. whenever she had to find a way to entertain herself, the blonde would always venture down to those many rooms and make conversation with as many children as she could. giving them hope was something that she tried hard to do. having someone who was alive and well made life so much better and easier to believe in, sophie knew that well enough. a pile of dirty clothes were lying on the floor of her bedroom, something she'd been putting off for a few days now. the eighteen year old picked them up and took them into the laundry, shoving them in the washing machine and turning it on. what to do now...there was always homework but it was friday night, she had all weekend to do it. may as well shower because tonight would probably be spent watching cheesy horror movies and eating ice cream on the couch with ivan. not having anything to wear, the blonde ventured into ivan's bedroom and opened his closet, pulling out a random baseball shirt before grabbing some other clothing necessities from her bedroom and walking into the bathroom. it was perfect timing as at the exact time when sophie walked out of the bathroom wearing ivan's massive shirt, the beep of the washing machine sounded through the apartment. dougie tagged along beside her as sophie darted into the laundry and piled all the washing into the dryer. now there was more time to fill; it was either do homework, watch one tree hill or call tristin. chad michael murray, a pile of books studying the human anatomy or call her brother who would immediately start asking typical overprotective questions. so chad michael murray seemed a lot more appealing to the blonde than the other two. with the humming of the dryer in the background, sophie sat on the couch watching possibly her favourite teen drama (which tristin called unrealistic and a waste of time) with dougie lying next to her and nudging her hand whenever she stopped scratching his head. unfortunately the beeping of the drying interrupted the fighting between peyton and brooke, and sophie had no excuse to put off studying and her family. of course by the time she'd transported her washing into her bedroom, an item of underwear was probably missing and had become dougie's new chew toy, but nevertheless there were no more dirty clothes lying on the floor of her bedroom and making the girl feel guilty. sophie pulled off ivan's baseball shirt and slid on the flannel shirt, walking out into the kitchen to retrieve her school books. she left the baseball shirt on the table and walked back into her bedroom.

---- within moments, sophie was dialling in the pearson's number into her iphone and being asked questions from tristin about the most random things which only her brother would think of. only half listening to the voice on the other line, sophie flicked through her biology text book and was twirling blonde locks around her index finger. however when the small voice of her niece eddie suddenly filled the phone, sophie smiled and happily talked to the little girl, not being able to help herself from missing home a whole lot more than she should. "guess who's home!" a voice called out from the front of the apartment. time definitely flew when you were talking to a five year old about such innocent and naive topics. "i have to go eddie, love you." the blonde touched the red rectangular button on the iphone screen, chucked it on her bed and walked from the room lazily. she ran her fingers through her hair and walked towards the dining room, yet it seemed too quiet for anyone to be in there. the girl turned around, walking backwards for a short time in case ivan was somewhere else, but the second she turned back around sophie crashed into someone and fell onto the ground. it was so not her day today. "this is really not my day tod---," sophie trailed off as she looked up at ivan who was standing over her. dear lord, he wanted to kill her. he may as well grab a gun and shoot her, it would be a lot quicker than making her suffer each and every time she saw him. and to make matters worse, ivan didn't happen to be wearing a shirt. instead he was holding that same baseball shirt that sophie had been wearing a few hours earlier before she'd changed into the red flannel shirt that she was now wearing. it only then occurred to her that she'd been staring up at him with her mouth slightly agape. awkward... "oh. wow. hi ivan!" the blonde said with a bubbly smile, taking his hand as he pulled her up off the ground, also trying to ignore those amazing muscles...okay sophie. shut up, just stop thinking otherwise he is going to think you're retarded. she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly and for at least thirty seconds there was a painful and long awkward silence. each time they looked up at each other and looked at each other in the eye, well that made the silence a lot longer and a lot more awkward. wonderful. "sorry for leave that lying around, i...erm...needed something to wear while i was doing my washing..." sophie told ivan, trying to act as nonchalant as possible when she walked around him and sat on the dining table and crossed her legs. trying to think of something that wasn't completely awkward, the blonde looked around the room. her blue eyes widened as she saw the ice cream sitting on the kitchen bench. "oh my god," sophie breathed as she slid off the wooden table, "i've been having withdrawals, i love you ivan joyce..." she wrapped her arms around ivan, not thinking before she acted, then bit her lip slightly. oh no, this wasn't awkward at all.

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[/blockquote]

STATUS , complete
WORDS , two thousand eight hundred and thirty-nine
MUSIC , never alone by barlow girl
TAGGED , ivan alexander joyce
OUTFIT , this flanno and short shorts or whatevs.
NOTES , (: yay!
CREDITS , lyrics to jon mclaughlin, template and banner to me

[/color][/font][/size][/justify]

[ivan joyce.]

_______________________________________________________________

-------Girls had been something that the few friends ivan had made in brooklyn could tell you wasn't something he was very good at dealing with. it wasn't because he was ugly or anything because believe me ivan joyce was definitely a hunk back then; even with the gap in his teeth that had been fixed thanks to braces in the tenth grade. the looks were all there. it was just... well, try and picture this. imagine a high school gymnasium full of sweaty boys and spunky girls watching from the bleachers as the boys run up and down the court, making shots from the three point line. after a few more dunks and a bunch of high fives among the guys why don't you add in a little bubbly blonde skipping toward a seventeen-year-old ivan joyce. can you see the awkwardness that comes oh-so naturally to ivan joyce coming up anytime soon? i can. it only took ivan three unfinished sentences to send miss addie d'aubigne off with one of those looks on her face before laughing her ass off once she got back to her group of preppy friends. ivan didn't attempt to come in female contact anymore after that. a lot of guys would see it as a privilige to even have addie walk up to them, but ivan would definitely have to put that as one of the most embarrassing experiences of his life. do you know how awkward it was for ivan when addie burst through the hospital door with a big basket of goodies for sophie and then have her look at you before going into a fit of laughter? that year certainly was not a highlight for ivan whatsoever. let's not mention his rejection by six other girls in that same year and the departure of sophie a good four months before school ended. a lot of those memories had been pushed away to the depths of ivan's mind incase he ever needed to look back on them, which was very rare. but even to this day you can still say that ivan isn't at the top of his game with women. all those girls that flung themselves at him when he dropped sophie off for her classes didn't even interest him. no one did. well, all accept for one...

-------Ivan now found himself in a pickle. there was that part of him that wanted the friendship between sophie and him to not get ruined. he had spent a long time building it up and trying to maintain it while they spent all that time apart from each other. then there was that part of him that wanted him to forget that he was sophie's best friend and possibly spill everything in his heart out to her. but that would shoot all they had worked for to hell. it would all end up in disaster. no good could possibly come out of it and that's what ivan was thinking while he exhaled, spinning on his heel as he did so. sophie and ivan would never happen. might as well accept it sooner or later. the shirt was almost over his head. the collar had been at the top of his head and ready to be pulled down so it could cover his bare chest. then... bam! ivan could feel something light, but with a lot of momentum bash against his chest and then make a thud against the hardwood floors of the apartment. ivan's hands had let go of his shirt, which fell to the ground right beside a half-naked looking sophie. "uhm, soph..." ivan struggled finding the words to say. what were you exactly suppose to say in this kind of situation. "this is really not my day to--" sophie had began to say and then as soon as she peered up at ivan she stopped. just like that. the 'day' didn't even slip out. was it only ivan seeing that amazed look across sophie's face and his plaid shirt that was just barely showing her shorts underneath it. was she raiding his closet now?

-------"Oh. wow. hi ivan!" sophie's pitchy voice suddenly broke the awkward moment of staring and brought a small smile to ivan's lips. his hand extended out toward his blonde best friend (who still looked slightly in shock) and once she wrapped her hand around it, lifted her up from the floor with great care. sophie seemed so fragile at times that ivan felt that one bump could snap her into pieces. "hey. uhm, i had no idea you were coming or else i would have stopped you before that fall, but i almost had that shirt," ivan pointed down at the floor to his baseball tee. "on and then you just came rushing toward me before i could do anything and then... yeah." just when he thought things couldn't get more awkward the silence came again. ivan's eyes had managed to catch a few glimpses of sophie's, but everytime they came in contact the two would immediately look down again. after awhile ivan just decided to look down at his baseball tee. sophie must have caught on. "sorry for leave that lying around, i...erm...needed something to wear while i was doing my washing..." her voice had gone from somewhat tense to casual and ivan felt his muscles relax. okay, let's just hope that doesn't happen again in the next five minutes. "of course. you need to do that. we don't want you to walk around naked." the words had slipped out before ivan could process them. this thing just happened. a lot. so much for not making things awkward for five minutes. there was no point in trying to save himself now. he would just let the silence happen. ready.... and go. another painfully awkward thirty seconds passed again and sophie was the one to make everything mellow again once her eyes caught the ice cream on the kitchen counter. "oh my god! i've been having withdrawals, i love you ivan joyce..." sophie's light voice squealed with excitement as she turned her attention from the ice cream to ivan and then threw her thin arms around his neck, pressing him against her.

-------He could have backed away after the first thirty seconds had passed. the two shared hugs like this on a daily basis whenever they walked in through the front door or before they said good night to each other. this should have been any different. instead of keeping it brief and simple, ivan carefully secured his arms around the small of her back and allowed himself to kind of... melt against sophie's tiny frame. this felt exceptionally right. everything in the entire apartment had hushed itself up. even the usual drown from the fridge was completely mute. all you could hear was the shallow breathing of sophie pearson and ivan joyce. and it was unbelievably right. after at least a minute and a half of just holding each other, ivan slowly unlocked his arms from sophie and pulled away. his eyes frantically searched for the expression across sophie's face. had she been thinking the exact same thing he had? was he not the only one going crazy over all debating about what was the reasonable thing to do and the more honest thing? as soon as they finally got to read his best friend's face he found... nothing. those big blue eyes were in the other direction and sophie's teeth were biting her lip. it took a lot of control to not show the disappointment filling up his heart. ivan's arms dropped to his sides, "uh... i guess i'm going to go get changed. get out the ice cream and movie, yeah?" his feet began to walk backward before he reached the hallway and turned himself around, escorting him to the first room to the left.

-------What had he been expecting? ivan had been pacing his bedroom up and down for the last two minutes trying to figure out his motive behind what just had happened. did he assume that one hug could suddenly just show years worth of affection? had he really been that stupid to guess that after they broke away from each other she would suddenly launch herself back into his arms and say that she loved him before he said he loved her, too? "get a grip, ivan." the boy muttered to himself and finally walked into his closet, ripping one of the shirts off a random hanger. the answer was yes. ivan had been hoping that embracing sophie would show her how much she meant to him. yes, he had thought that once they looked into each other's eyes everything would just turn out to be happily ever after like he'd seen in those chick flicks video games. that was how things were suppose to be, right? they always did happen like that when the best friends love each other scanerio occurs. juliet had gone through it. why couldn't he? "because you're a pansy," ivan spoke once again and slipped the shirt over his head and chest before sliding out of his bottoms. he couldn't help but nod in agreement with himself. it was true. ivan alexander joyce couldn't admit to his best friend that he loved her because he didn't want to destroy their friendship. grow a pair of balls! the boy's hands reached out for a pair of sweats lying across his mattress and carefully stepped into them while tying the draw strings into a knot at the same time. sophie was probably wondering what he was possibly doing. it was time to go out in that living room, sit beside her all curled up, and endure two hours through a stupid horror movie that wouldn't even distract him from all these thoughts bouncing around in his head. "here goes nothing." ivan wrapped his hands around the door handle and twisted it so the door went wide open. his feet pattered against the hardwood floor and ivan's eyes were fixed on sophie already sitting down on the sofa with her pint of ice cream, a spoon, and chester lying across her lap. "we all ready?" ivan jogged to the sofa and plopped down on the cushion beside his best friend, being careful of avoiding chester who would most likely start clawing him if he went anywhere near his tail. goal for the night: do not inform sophie pearson how very much you're in love with her. how hard could it be?

_______________________________

TAGGED, sophie jayne pearson
STATUS, done.
WORDS, 1752.
NOTES, okay, the beginning is eh. but i like the ending.
CREDIT, me for banner and.... i don't know for template
LISTENING TO,nothing ):

[sophie pearson.]

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---- fear. that was something sophie pearson had been told to fight against for her entire life. from what the blonde had learnt in the first eighteen years of her life, fear was an emotion which is distressing and arose when there was impending danger, pain or something evil. it didn't matter whether the fear was real or imaginary, it was all the same. the feeling of being afraid. ivan would never put her in any danger or intentionally 'cause her any pain and there wasn't an evil bone in that boys body. so why was she so afraid? however it wasn't ivan himself that sophie was afraid of, more or less it was the situation that she'd been presented with. thrown at her by some unknown force that had something against her. when she was four, the tiny blonde had been walking around the edge of the small pond which was located at the back of the pearson home. a narrow garden path led out into melanie's elaborate garden which was in pristine condition as the woman spent as much time as she could in it. rose bushes and flower beds, the smell was divine and mixed with the indescribable scent of the nature surrounding it. under a large tree sat a medium sized pond where ducks would often float. it had been a cherished childhood memory to sophie, when she and her brother would sit by the pond and throw pieces of bred into the water and then giggle as the ducks stupidly fought over it. little sophie would often walk around the pond, balancing and not even thinking how dangerous it was, though that was one of the many privileges of being a child. that one day in particular, a sledge of loose land had come loose and she fell into the freezing cold water. not being able to swim, the child did what she could to stay above water before everything went black. she woke up to the sirens in an ambulance not long after with a freezing tristin with dripping wet hair, wrapped in a blanket next to her. meanwhile, melanie was crying hysterically to the ambulance staff and begged them to "save her baby" before her tiny daughter started coughing up the pond water. for the rest of the ride to the hospital, the woman held the gold cross hanging around her neck just as tightly as she was holding her daughter. you see, there was in fact a point in time where melanie pearson loved her children as much as she loved god, remembering it however was a challenge in itself.

---- since that day in the fall, sophie pearson hadn't even thought about going into the water. summer vacations to the south of france were spent sitting on the beach, a far way away from the ocean. tristin and edward would muck around in the water whilst sophie would sit with her mother, who was sunbathing in a bikini and being checked out by men in their twenties. tristin had tried countless times over the years to teach her how to swim. whenever he threatened to just throw her into the pool, sophie would sit stubbornly at his piano with daddy's steak knife in her hand and wearing her best dress. if he even touched her, the seemingly innocent porcelain doll of a blonde would have no problem with running that knife across tristin's piano until it was covered in scratches. she also knew that if her brother was the cause of that dress getting ruined, it would end in him getting an earful from their dear mother. the material things like her daughter's best dress which would make them look like a respectful and high class family was much more important than the fact that daughter was being a little pain in the ass to her big brother. melanie pearson didn't discipline her children knowingly, just acting like they didn't exist was punishment enough. but yes, the innocent blonde with the sparkling blue eyes could be an annoying little brat when she wanted to. at the age of eight, just before sophie got cancer, tristin stopped trying with a mere "fine, if you want to be afraid then so be it." now sophie pearson looked up to her brother like he was superman, batman, spiderman all mixed together. he was her ultimate hero. always there to scare away the monsters in her closet and would always stand up for her at school. so when she discovered that by a mere few words, he thought she was weak, you could say that just about killed the eight year old. she was used to her parents not particularly caring about her or thinking the girl wasn't good for anything other than looking pretty, but tristin...it was hard for sophie to not change her mind and try to swim. but unfortunately her fears ruled over her once again. when she got sick, letting fear rule her would have been the worst mistake she could have made. but the thing was, sophie wasn't sick anymore, she was alive and healthy, standing in this apartment with ivan...the one thing she was most terrified of in this confusing, big world.

---- being locked in a gaze with ivan joyce, well sophie couldn't remember a time she'd been more scared. looking into his clear, blue eyes was just like drowning in that deep and dark pond. no matter how hard she tried, no matter how hard to tried to fight against it, there was no escaping. if she kept staring into those intoxicating and intriguing eyes of his, sophie felt as though she'd die. why on earth was she afraid? he was her best friend for god sakes. he'd known her when she had braces and would often throw up in the toilet mid conversation. ivan had been with her, right by her side, through all those long and dark days in the hospital. right there, that was the reason she was afraid. loosing all of that to her emotions, it was ridiculous and unacceptable. sure, that hug shouldn't be anything special. in no way was it a rare occurrence that sophie would throw herself on ivan in a massive hug which he would return with a chuckle. so why should this one be any different? sophie had expected ivan to pull away abruptly, for it to be somewhat awkward and solid. but this time, the twenty-one year old held on. sophie felt his strong arms crossed at the small of her back, holding her close. he seemed soft yet strong at the same time, like with him standing there, nothing could ever hurt her again. cautiously, the girl let her head rest on his shoulder. she was tense for a few moments but when ivan didn't flinch or pissbolt out the front door, sophie relaxed and just let herself stand there with no walls up between the pair. there was silence, but not an awkward one. of course inside her head, sophie was freaking out. was she suppose to look up into those overwhelming eyes that sophie wanted to loose herself in, and just say "i love you ivan joyce" then kiss him. only in novels written by nicholas sparks would that work. only if her life was a movie would ivan smile that amazing smile of his, kiss her back and say "i love you too sophie pearson". but in reality, ivan would most likely go red and then run into his bedroom, never speaking to sophie again. then of course the blonde would move back to santorini and have a million cats before jumping off a cliff when she found out that ivan married some brunette beezy with an annoying voice and who often had nude photo scandals. or something like the notebook would happen, which is about right because that movie had one of the most awkward sex scenes ever in the beginning.

---- after what seemed like a million years, sophie started getting anxious. something had to happen sooner or later, otherwise she'd start having a panic attack on the floor of their apartment and start crying about everything that she'd screwed up in the past few years. luckily, ivan pulled away from sophie and she immediately felt like jello. now she knew what ophelia meant about how she felt whenever she was away from tristin, like everything was meaningless. sophie bit her lip anxiously and refused to look at ivan. her blue eyes were wide with shock and she could feel him looking at her, sense the anxiety which was present in the room. stupid, stupid emotions making her just feel as though she wanted to cry. biting her lip was a barrier of some sorts, keeping all those ridiculous feelings inside. god help her if she let go. why on earth did she feel rejected when she wanted ivan to let her go? "uh... i guess i'm going to go get changed. get out the ice cream and movie, yeah?" ivan told her, something toning his voice that for once, wasn't awkwardness. not wanting to risk looking at him, sophie nodded quickly and continued looking the other way. once she heard the door to ivan's shut, sophie let out a heavy breath and started pacing around the dining room, having a mini panic attack. okay sophie, calm the hell down. ivan wouldn't take that long to get changed, he's a guy. all they have to do is pull on those sweatpants from the floor and pull on a t-shirt. the blonde walked in a daze over to the ice cream sitting on the kitchen bench and pulled out two cartons, hers and ivan's. after putting the remaining cartons in the freezer, sophie grabbed two spoons and walked into the living room. chester was glaring at her from the couch, taking up half of it. he enjoyed making her life hell, from stealing random items of sophie's underwear and leaving them in ivan's bedroom to this. well, it was going to be very up close and personal it seemed. the blonde set the ice cream down on the coffee table and put the dvd in the player. she could do this. this being, not violating ivan on the couch while they're watching a movie about teenagers getting stabbed by a guy in a hockey mask. she'd just act normal, it wasn't that hard considered that's how she'd always acted around ivan. before he got hot that is, and before she grew up.

---- trying to distract herself from what was going to happen in a few seconds time, the blonde leaned forward and grabbed her ice cream and spoon. the second that carton opened, chester made his way into sophie's lap and started purring affectionately. not really knowing if cookie dough ice cream was safe for cats, sophie scooped out a bunch into the lid and set it in front of chester. well it was already obvious chester couldn't die and cats already drank milk, so ice cream couldn't be any different. the opening credits of the movie were just starting as ivan jogged out. "we all ready?" he asked casually and sophie nodded with a small smile on her lips. the boy sat down next to sophie, picking up his ice cream and spoon from the coffee table. both of them sat there in silence, watching the movie with blank stares and eating their ice cream. about twenty minutes in, the blonde leaned forward and picked up the dvd case from the coffee table. she bit her lip slightly as she read the ratings which included "sexual intercourse". lovely, how come horror movies without hardcore sex scenes didn't exist these days? they needed to switch to disney movies or something where the most sexual thing was a slight peck on the lips and a "happily ever after". sophie chucked the case back on the coffee table, moving closer to ivan so they were touching and the blonde leaned against ivan without thinking first. however just as she was going to lean away casually with a bathroom excuse, ivan awkwardly put his arm around her. it wasn't awkward, it was nice. like sophie could just fall asleep like this she rested her head against his chest with that traitor of a small smile on her lips. so what if she wasn't even listening to what was going on in the stupid movie, ivan wasn't bolting out the front door. suddenly a sharp pain in sophie's foot made her yelp and knock over that half melted cookie dough ice cream onto ivan's shirt. "chester! what was that for!?" the blonde exclaimed angrily at the cat, setting him on the floor before turning back to ivan. she grabbed a random cloth sitting on the coffee table and started patting at his shirt worriedly. "ivan, i am so sorry. i'll...i'll buy you a new one i swear," the blonde said, freaking out and putting the ice cream carton on the floor before she abruptly stopped patting ivan's shirt, just noticing that this was probably completely violating ivan in a way he did not want to be violated. "fuck, i mean, shit...oh screw it. i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i'll stop now...i'm so sorry ivan! dammit, i'm bleeding and infested with cat rabies." sophie bit her lip so she could shut up, before sliding away from the twenty-one year old and crossing her thin legs.

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STATUS , complete
WORDS , two thousand four hundred and seventy nine
MUSIC , good to you by marianas trench
TAGGED , ivan alexander joyce
OUTFIT , this flanno and short shorts or whatevs.
NOTES , ivan made sophie swear c:
CREDITS , lyrics to jon mclaughlin, template and banner to me

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